Delusions of Grandeur

I had a dream last night that I had met some people while working at an event that travels from town to town. I had the opportunity to get to know them throughout the event. So much so that I fell in love with one of the guys. And he me. As they moved on to the next event, the guy told me he would write and would let me know when I could come visit. And so I waited. And he sent for me and I went. It was beautiful and everyone on the team loved me. They invited me to join them permanently. How wonderful it is to be wanted. And yet I knew it wasn’t the place for me. I was wanted, I was loved, I could fulfill a purpose and be useful; but I knew in my heart that it wasn’t my purpose. It wasn’t what I was made to do. I was torn, I desprately wanted to join this adventure that was new and exciting and different. I knew that if I did, eventually, I would be just as unhappy doing that as I was in my current situation. I just wanted my life to be different in any way.  I was willing to forego the warning signs, to push aside what I knew to be true in my heart for a momentary relief.

It is funny how the grass always seems greener on the other side. How we see another situation and we imagine how wonderful it is without including any of the downside. We always delude ourselves into thinking, “if only my life was like that, all my problems would go away.” And in some cases that is true. But mostly we just drag that old baggage around with us. We hide it, stuff into a closet or put it in a box under the bed. However, in the end it is always there, spilling over into our new life that we think is better and yet it is just different.

I think my dream was a warning. A way to say to me be careful. In this life there are adversaries that would seek to steal, kill, and destroy our every blessing and desire of God. But they are sneaky and will attack from every angle – even one that seems good. It is a distraction to keep us from our real purpose in life. Just because the grass seems greener don’t let yourself be fooled by delusions of grandeur. Follow what you know to be true despite its slow coming and difficult path.

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