Heartache

Is love enough to sustain a relationship? Once upon a time in my naivety I would have said yes- but now, in the midst of love, lust, disappointment, and reality, I am unsure of where to go.

I am frozen in time with reality staring me in the face and a crossroads before me, I dare not choose the path, for what if I choose wrong? In whichever direction I choose, the unknown looms with promises of fairytale beginnings,  nightmarish endings, and the gamit of what lies in between. My fear anchors me to the ground, and without figuring out how to remove that anchor, I will barely be able to remain standing. Stuck in my yesterdays and forever looking forward.

I know not what to do. And I am so terrified I dare not even think of a choice. It seems the familiar has suddenly been revealed to be the unknown and I am drowing in selfish pity and a helpless notion that I broke what was fine, and now I am left with how to move forward pieces in hand.

I’m letting go of holding on too tightly. I’m letting go of the one thing I have desired all my life. I am letting go.

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